After years of ignorance and avoidance, I'm now willing to do what I need to do to be financially sound. I'm willing. Just willing enough to figure out what is going on with my spending and my impulses to live beyond my means. I'm 28 and I'm pretty fed-up with my aversion to living in abundance. Spending is another way for me to avoid hard feelings of scarcity, worthlessness and general malaise. WTF. When I end each month in the red, my self image just plummets, causing the cycle to begin anew once I get paid.
Overview:
My net worth is around -30k. Student loans are a real bummer and I have yet to make any dent in the closing them out. A friend of mine told me the high of paying off a student loan, the rush of endorphins and euphoria of accomplishment, I want that. As a sober alcoholic, I love those goody two shoed highs.
I have 3 student loans. One private at 2.3k at 10% interest. Two federal loans at around 14k at 6.5% interest. All are overdue in payments.
My current credit score is below 600. It's an E-. I had no idea you could earn an E. I guess it's not an F - small victories.
I don't have much else. Oh wait, I have a bunch of medical bills. One from a dumb ER visit, got into a mild bike accident, where I sat on a bed with a mild concussion for 3 hours and got charged $700 or something dollars. Fuck that. So I haven't paid it. Not being a real grown on that one, don't care just yet.
I have no savings except for $1300 in cash I got from a mildly inappropriate odd job.
My Goal: LESS SUFFERING AROUND MY FINANCES.
Sub-Goals:
1. I need a prudent reserve of $5000 for emergencies.
2. Make some headway in paying off these lame ass student loans.
3. Get my taxes in order, kinda avoided paying 2014 taxes. Gasp. yeah I'm really struggling here.
4. Raise my credit score so more companies than Capital One will let me have a credit card.
5. Save money so I can invest. (That some next level shit, so lets first get out of the red.)
Next Steps:
Create a budget that matches my emotional, physical, mental and/or relationship values:
This is tricky, here is one expense I struggle with time to time. Let me spell it out.
Okay so I have an expensive gym membership I'm not willing to give up. It's around $165. Ouch, I know. Why don't I want to give it up? I struggled with body image and exercise my entire life. As an artist/book worm type, I placed no value in working out leaving me with a pretty mediocre body riddled with anxiety, depression and shit-poor endurance. This gym is awesome and I like being there. That's huge! So if it keeps me coming back and working out, my body and this gym is an investment worth making.
I'm using Mint.com to create a budget and record my transactions. There are so many small charges that mean nothing to me and give me nothing as far of EPMR value.
My friend Tasha turned me onto SmartyPig.com for small saving buckets, which looks right up my alley. Once I get my paycheck, I'll start the process.
At this very moment I have $0 in my checking account and less than $200 in my savings.
I'm making an appointment with a financial counsellor through my credit union bank and I'm canceling all the extraneous subscriptions that just suck up money, Fabletic, Handy, LeTote and DailyLook and whatever else I throw burn money on.
I'm going on a small vacation with David the 1st week of August. I want to have a good time and gamble a little. (Is that a stupid stupid super stupid idea?) We'll see what my spending looks like during that and if I have any money I can use towards that.
Let's see where I am next week. Peace!
XOXO
Alyson
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